give.ovarian.org/participant/Barbara-Schlatter The obvious upside of cancer is deeper appreciation for everything you have and I definitely experienced that feeling after I was diagnosed, but that feeling has deepened exponentially over the last year. Between the pandemic and many speed bumps to my recovery, I am beyond grateful for what I have and happier than I have ever been in my life. I find joy in the littlest things and it is an amazing feeling! Cancer has softened my personality and mood. Growing up, I was bullied extensively in school. With much self reflection, I came to the realization that those early experiences with my peers taught me to put a wall of defense, usually suspecting the worst of others. This led me to be abrupt and dismissive, usually without need. I rarely engaged in conversation with strangers, always being on a mission to get my own tasks done. Now I find myself talking to anyone who will listen to me. It has opened a whole new world for me. At each step of this journey, someone has come forward to help me reach the next step. Family, friends and strangers all helped me to move forward. When I started down this road with cancer, I was on a mission to beat it anyway I could. I spent the initial phase of my treatment dreading recurrence, when I would be back on the highly toxic drugs. Now I feel prepared for whatever comes my way--no more dread or fear--just more speed bumps to slow me down to appreciate whatever those moments bring. I cannot change the fact that I have cancer, or that it will someday it will try to rear its ugly head. All I can do is change how I react to it. Find the beauty in imperfection--the Wabi Sabi life! The segment for the CBS news story aired this morning. There will be a slightly different version airing tomorrow on Stand UP to Cancer primetime special (I don't think my story will air nationally, just the local CBS breakaway) CBC News Story Barb's NOCC fundraiser I am doing all I can to reach a broader audience for ovarian cancer awareness, my NOCC fundraiser and my website. In addition to emails and facebook posts, I also messaged all the local news networks. I was fortunate to receive a quick response from CBS and was asked for an interview to air in September for ovarian cancer awareness month. The next day, I was contacted again with a change of plan. The first airing will be on the CBS morning news and it will also be included on the primetime special Stand Up To Cancer on August 21st! Needless to say, I was completely blown away! With all that said, I still need your help! Please share this message with family and friends. Help me to not only meet, but exceed my fundraising goal. The pole you see is my fundraising thermometer. Currently, the teal crystals indicate donations from my family and friends and the purple is for donations generated by neighbors passing by who took interest in my sign. Help me add more colors to my pole by creating more degrees of separation! I currently have posters up at my husband’s employer, WiTronix (who were some of my biggest supporters last year) and at my former employer, Advocate cancer center in Aurora. Let me know if you know of a business that would be willing to post my message! I”ll keep you updated regarding airtimes for my segments. This a a letter that I am including in "surviving chemo" gift bags I'm making for fellow patient's at the office where I am receiving chemotherapy.
My name is Barb and I am an oncology nurse who was diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer in September 2019. I want to share the things that were key to getting me through chemo, surgery and beyond.
In January I decided that I would do a mini triathlon not knowing that I was capable of anything other than swimming, given the level of joint pain I was still dealing with. Strive to Thrive has been my guide for the last 8 months. Getting stronger doesn’t happen on it’s own. Waiting for things to happen is a futile dream that anything will change or improve. While the triathlon has been in the back of my mind, I had been making excuses for not doing more physical activity, not wanting to confuse pain from exercise with pain related to tapering prednisone. This morning the excuses stopped. I decided while grocery shopping, that when I got home, I would head to the pool to start my adventure. The plan was to do as much as I physically could without doing anything causing intolerable pain. I was successful! The swim ended up being my easiest event, the bike ride ended short of the initial goal of 12 miles due to an unfortunate event involving a dog on a long leash, the walk was hard, but faster than my new usual pace (even after biking and swimming)! Throughout my career as a nurse, my patients have inspired me to challenge myself!. From the patient who would go downtown every week for ballroom dancing after receiving weekly chemo, to the 80 year old patient whose biggest complaint about chemo was that she couldn’t participate in Disney marathon weekend which consists of a total of 48.6 miles over four consecutive days. In the first instance, I lost 30 pounds, in the second, I ran a half marathon. Today’s activities are dedicated to my son Mark, who has accepted the challenge to learn to drive at the age of 29. He is conquering his fears of driving and I am confident that he will have his licence within a few months. Therefore, I felt the need to do something to push my limits as well! Thanks for inspiring me today Mark! You never know what you can do until you try! Well the vote was almost unanimous for Can’t Help Falling in Love. This is my very first attempt at singing along with anything other than a single strum. Coordinating right and left hands along with singing is more difficult than I ever could have imagined. Hopefully there will be improvement with time..."Can't Help Falling in Love" What do you say when someone has not only cancer, but is going through some other medical crisis? Many say nothing and retreat for fear of saying the wrong thing. In writing my manifesto, I tried to alleviate some of those trepidations by clearly stating what was going on and my plan of attack. As a very independent and stubborn person, I always declined offers of help, only asking if I was physically incapable of doing the task myself. There were many conversations that ended with “just let me know if you need anything”. Over the course of my recovery, I have come to the realization that the best thing that anyone could say is: I have X amount of time on X day that I’m free to do whatever you need. Offer options that you are willing to do such as just visit, go out to lunch, set aside time to talk on the phone, cleaning, errands, or whatever you think that individual might need. Try this out on someone you know who may be lonely, recovering from an illness, or is suffering in some other way. Let me know if it works! Time for audience participation! I have two songs ready to record and post that i can actually sing as well as play on my ukulele. Vote for either "La Vie En Rose" or "I Can’t Help Falling in Love". Whatever song has the most votes by Monday will be posted. My first Ukulele You Tube video.
My "channel" is Strive Thrive https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7WYdtY0TEw Chemo brain is real and it sucks, especially for someone who prided herself on her ability to recall random information from the netherregions of her brain while juggling many tasks simultaneously. Through this whole journey, the loss of brainpower was the most devastating. I learned to adapt by making lists for everything. I tried doing brain puzzles everyday, which I was actually pretty good at. It was using my brain in daily life that was the biggest problem. After months passed, I learned to forgive myself for what was beyond my control. My family came to expect that word retrieval was no longer my strong suit and that my italian heritage, led to increased hand gestures, that became a personal sign language for me. They helped me without complaint when I misplaced something, yet again. In January 2021, I decided that maybe if I tried learning something new, my brain power would improve. I always wanted to learn to play an instrument, but as a child was never able to master reading music, likely due to lack of effort. After a google search of the easiest instruments to play, I stumbled upon the ukulele. Small, affordable, the chords written in letters, so I didn't have to recite “every good boy does fine” while trying to read music; it was a match made in heaven! For Mother’s Day this year, my children surprised me with a beautiful solid koa wood ukulele, which makes me want to play and learn so much more. I am slowly improving and will soon post a new video. Mastering new chords, strumming patterns, and feeble attempts at singing have improved not only my brain power, but also gives me something to look forward to doing. My ukulele is my new found friend! My newfound optimistic, joyful spirit has been crushed. No, it’s not that my cancer has returned,but that I have not built any immunity to covid. The drugs I am on to keep my cancer at bay have also severely impacted my immune system. My blissful sense of safety is gone and I’m dreading the colder weather that will bring social isolation back into my life unless all friends and family who wish to see me are vaccinated. I know many people don't feel the need to get vaccinated for themselves, feeling that they are not at risk for developing severe symptoms, or that the vaccine is too new or unsafe. Please understand that a vaccinated population protects everyone, especially those most at risk like myself. With the lifting of mask mandates for the fully vaccinated, some unvaccinated people are abusing the relaxation by entering public indoor spaces without masks. This behavior scares the shit out of me, not only for myself, but for the health system and economy. The argument that masks do not add any safety is wrong. Surgeons do not wear masks to protect themselve; they do it to protect their patient! By wearing your mask in public when you are not vaccinated, you are preventing the spread of your potential infectious secretions to others. I will likely start wearing a mask and face shield when shopping to further protect myself from the socially irresponsible. The news that I had cancer did not bring me to tears but this did. I have to trust others to protect me. I am so tired of living in the bubble that I had briefly exited. I attended an indoor party this summer without knowing the vaccination status of everyone and had a brief moment of hesitation, but then put that aside knowing I was vaccinated. Those days are over for me for the foreseeable future. One of the most common questions I have received since my cancer journey began has been “how are you so calm about this?” My initial response to this question was “if I fall apart, what will the rest of my family do?”. Recently I came to the conclusion that I wasn't upset because at that moment there was nothing that I could do to change my situation other than to plan my attack. Knowledge is power! As an oncology nurse, I was very much aware of what was ahead of me. My biggest decision was whether to participate in a clinical trial that was offered, which I ended up participating in. I was blessed to have so many medical professionals in my corner, allowing me to bounce ideas off of. I give so much credit to those of you who successfully navigate the medical system without medical knowledge. Knowing the right questions to ask is crucial to getting the most out of any doctor’s appointment. NEVER be afraid to ask all the questions you need answered. Always make a list prioritizing the most important to you. If you need help determining what to ask, I can provide feedback. I will be creating printable documents in the near future with a list of questions that patients often don't get answered at their doctor’s appointments. Always remember, as a patient, you have the right to have your questions answered so you can make an informed decision regarding your care. For many people once they have completed their initial treatment, they are done. For many others like myself, treatment will be ongoing. Right now, im have been on maintenance therapy for 16 months, with one drug being on hold for toxicies. I am in the window of time when women with my staging are likely to have a recurrence, yet I’m not in a panic about test results, because i know what the plan will be when the cancer is back. I’ve recently seen people that i havent seen since long before the pandemic began. They were all aware of my diagnosis and expressed first sympathy when they understood that I’ll never be “cured”, then shock of my upbeat attitude. Advanced cancer is being treated as a chronic disease, with cure being unlikely, but still very treatable for many years. I am looking for feedback! Is this information helpful? Please provide any suggestions either in comments, email, or messenger on facebook. |
AuthorBarb Schlatter Archives
May 2022
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