About
My name is Barb—I am a wife, mother of two boys, oncology nurse and cancer survivor. My cancer journey began on what was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime, an adventure through Europe to celebrate my 30th anniversary. Much to my dismay, shortly after landing in Paris, I experienced a sudden onset of excruciating pain. The next morning was spent in the emergency room where a CT scan revealed an 11cm abdominal mass. I was presented the option of staying and having surgery or returning home for treatment. My planned three week trip found me home in three days…. I was ultimately diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer.
From the start, I knew that this journey would be harder on my family than me. I was able to disconnect emotionally from my disease and was in full on nurse mode. I needed a plan, not only for my cancer treatment, but for how I wanted to be treated. I had many sleepless nights thinking of all the patients that I had treated over my many decades as a nurse and decided to write a manifesto to clearly state how I planned to battle the beast and expectations of how I wanted to be treated.
My initial treatment began with traditional chemotherapy along with clinical trial drugs, followed by major surgery and more chemo that took me from October of 2019 through February 2020. I had some rough days, but overall did quite well with treatment. I was ready to rejoin society and recover from what was supposed to be the hardest part of my treatment plan. Then Covid hit and my isolation continued along with many more bumps in the road than what I was expecting from the maintenance phase of my recovery. Gradually over the course of 8 months my mobility decreased and pain increased to the point that every single activity took active thought and planning. I tried countless alternative therapies and medications without success. Finally in April of 2021 I figured out the cause of most of my issues, a rare side effect of one of the study drugs, started steroids and am feeling fantastic at last.
Throughout this “rough patch”, I always tried to remain positive, always investigating what the cause might be. I was able to maintain my independence, but was on the verge of losing that to pain and immobility. With the return of full use of my pain free body, I found myself happier than I have ever been in my lifetime, with a newfound appreciation for everything.
Now allow me to back up several months when I read the book “Fly a Little Higher '' which was written by the mother of Zach Sobiech, a young man who had terminal cancer and wanted to make a difference in the world. The strength and grace that he and his family exhibited inspired me and led me to think of what my legacy would be. Yes, I have my fabulous children, my relationships with family and friends, my career as a nurse, but those things are just part of being alive. I felt the need to do more. I put my efforts into fundraising for NOCC and raised an incredible amount of money with the amazing support of my family and friends. But that didn’t satisfy my hope to make a difference. I was not able to reach a large audience.
Recent struggles with the medical system have motivated me to strive to find a way to help others. I come from the perspective of being both nurse and patient. I am experiencing the system from both ends and even with my knowledge I struggled to be heard.
If you have issues you have difficulty managing or understanding, I am willing to do some research to help guide you in the right direction as well as some questions to bring up with your doctor. To be clear, the purpose of this blog is not to give medical advice, but to share my experience with the perspective of being both a nurse and patient: the highs, lows, depression, anxiety, loneliness, pain, and finally finding real peace and happiness.
From the start, I knew that this journey would be harder on my family than me. I was able to disconnect emotionally from my disease and was in full on nurse mode. I needed a plan, not only for my cancer treatment, but for how I wanted to be treated. I had many sleepless nights thinking of all the patients that I had treated over my many decades as a nurse and decided to write a manifesto to clearly state how I planned to battle the beast and expectations of how I wanted to be treated.
My initial treatment began with traditional chemotherapy along with clinical trial drugs, followed by major surgery and more chemo that took me from October of 2019 through February 2020. I had some rough days, but overall did quite well with treatment. I was ready to rejoin society and recover from what was supposed to be the hardest part of my treatment plan. Then Covid hit and my isolation continued along with many more bumps in the road than what I was expecting from the maintenance phase of my recovery. Gradually over the course of 8 months my mobility decreased and pain increased to the point that every single activity took active thought and planning. I tried countless alternative therapies and medications without success. Finally in April of 2021 I figured out the cause of most of my issues, a rare side effect of one of the study drugs, started steroids and am feeling fantastic at last.
Throughout this “rough patch”, I always tried to remain positive, always investigating what the cause might be. I was able to maintain my independence, but was on the verge of losing that to pain and immobility. With the return of full use of my pain free body, I found myself happier than I have ever been in my lifetime, with a newfound appreciation for everything.
Now allow me to back up several months when I read the book “Fly a Little Higher '' which was written by the mother of Zach Sobiech, a young man who had terminal cancer and wanted to make a difference in the world. The strength and grace that he and his family exhibited inspired me and led me to think of what my legacy would be. Yes, I have my fabulous children, my relationships with family and friends, my career as a nurse, but those things are just part of being alive. I felt the need to do more. I put my efforts into fundraising for NOCC and raised an incredible amount of money with the amazing support of my family and friends. But that didn’t satisfy my hope to make a difference. I was not able to reach a large audience.
Recent struggles with the medical system have motivated me to strive to find a way to help others. I come from the perspective of being both nurse and patient. I am experiencing the system from both ends and even with my knowledge I struggled to be heard.
If you have issues you have difficulty managing or understanding, I am willing to do some research to help guide you in the right direction as well as some questions to bring up with your doctor. To be clear, the purpose of this blog is not to give medical advice, but to share my experience with the perspective of being both a nurse and patient: the highs, lows, depression, anxiety, loneliness, pain, and finally finding real peace and happiness.